Emotion and Life

Sometimes life becomes tougher than what a person can think about. I have seen person fighting within him or herself, to come out of their grief. From the day I got my consciousness to understand the touch of care or the far most time that I can recall, I can see the depth of my family bondage. There was always an unconditional love between maa & baba. Sometimes, my sister and I used to pull their legs regarding this. Whenever some asked us "whom papa loves most?" we used to answer, simultaneously, papa's weak-point is mom, and mom's weak point is papa. Everyone always used to laugh at this, however it was the clear truth to all. I saw them fighting over issues, but never allowed others to say a single word against each other. So many times I interfered to support maa or papa and fight with the opponent, but they never allowed us to interfere. I was so annoyed, I can't consider the wrong deed, but now I can understand, it was their independent world. T

Till now I remember the day, I was sleeping, totally unconscious about the outer world. A deep sleep, after a long time. My mom was not well. She was bed-ridden for long. Mom was very near to didi (elder-sister), after her marriage, she lost her friend. She was all alone. I understood her emptiness but was not with any option. Our mentality differs a lot. Then also I, rather we tried to come close to each other. We shared so many feelings. Whenever I came back from my university, I saw her standing in the balcony. Eagerly waiting for us, some times human being becomes so lonely. We used to see all Ekta Kapoor's "Sans Bahoo" types serials. We enjoyed the time, may be not the serial. My father, he became irritated of these serials, but never said anything as he loves her a lot. Sometimes didi and I used taunt baba and ma for their love. Days passed on, maa slowly caught the bed, as she was a patient of diabetes. Her both kidneys failed. My father tried a lot to give h

Neel rong-ta chirokali khub bhalo lagto, kintu gaan-ta kakhuno shuni ni. Sei prathom tomar mukhe shona. Aaj anek path periye eshechi, kintu ei gaan, taar sabdo baar baar tomar kaache niye jaaye. Tumi aaccho jani kintu kothaye paabo tomake? Majhkhaane ek samudro samaye. Perote chileo perono jaye ki? Bhalo hoto jadi sedin gaanta na shuntam ba sedin bujhte paartam....................mon baro abuj, jakhon bojhe takhon kaal pahar periyecche. Aaj thik dokkho hocchena, sudhu pathorer nich theke srotoshinike ber kore aanar chesta korche. Rong-ta chirokaal khub romantic mone hoto, mone hoto er moddheye ekta adbhut gobhirata aacche............kintu sei aaj hridayer maajhe hahakaar tulbe seta bujhte paarini. Aaj neel samudro-ke picchone fele dourote dourote bhule gecchi neel aakash to saathei cholecche! Takhoni bujhlam tumio neel rong hoye samudre, aakashe, dehe mone mishe aaccho. Kaar kaach theke kaar kaache palabo? Tai neel rong mekhe Nilima holam.

It's been almost a year my life has been changed it's way, like other females after getting married. My identity, lifestyle, thinking, likings all have changed, rather being bound to change.Being from a Bengali background I automatically possess a cultural background, and getting married to an orthodox Garhwali family everything is changed in my life. However after a long time, while sitting idle I listen to Rabindra Sangeet a flute of nostalgia play in my heart, and just like a bird who's chained in a golden cage, just wanna fly away desperately. Do any one ever understand chain is always a chain, doesn't matter whether it is of iron or gold. It will bind always. Wanna run away to touch the green feild, blue sky, vast ocean, huge sea. This Rabindra Geet, always creats a sence of nostalgia, depression and makes me desperate to break all the bindings. May be because he indeed never liked the bondage in feelings and always love to feel and think freely beyond all traditi